Where Are We
by espergirl04
Summary: Lulu contemplates her feelings for a certain person, I'm pretty bad at summaries so please give me a chance. Please Read and Review!


Hello! I wrote a poem a while back from Lulu's perspective after Chappu's death. Someone suggested that I write a Lulu/Wakka or Lulu/Chappu story and Ifinally got around to it. Yay!

Oh yeah…so you won't be confused…it starts out with her just thinking then it switches perspectives to where she's "talking" to Chappu.

Disclaimer: Nope…don't own ff10

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Blasphemous...that is what some would consider it. Not that anybody knows. Not yet. They will…in time…I'm sure that I can not hide it forever. I would like to hope that these feelings will go away, but I know that they will not. Before _he_ died I never even considered that I could ever love him. Him…the one that I love…I never thought that I would ever love again after _he_ was taken from me…after _he _left me. At first I was angry at _him_, but I did not let it show. I loved _him _too much. Maybe that was where I went wrong, giving my heart so completely to someone. I swore after _he_ was gone that never again would I make that mistake again. Yet, it seems that I have. Oh how frail the human heart.

After _he_ died it was as if I was drowning in the waters of my unshed tears. I thought that never again would I feel light on my face, never again taste the sweat breath of air. Somehow…somehow I did. All because of him. He was there…through it all…felt the pain as I did. They were close. They were brothers. How will they take it? To know that I have fallen in love with my, would have been brother-in-law? Blasphemous. That is what some would say. Traitor. I think that _he_ would not mind…that _he_ would be happy for us. Oh, tell me that _he_ would be happy.

I promise that I loved no one but you before your death. You were my heart; there was no room for anyone else. Your brother was always there, but I loved him as a brother. Things have changed. He has saved me from drowning, lifted me out of the cold waters. Should I not love him? Should I not? If you do not wish it then tell me, tell me…I will listen. But you can not tell me, I shall never hear your voice again. At least not in my waking hours. I know that you would want me to find happiness, I knew you so well, you would not mind. Your brother seems to think the same. How many restless nights did he lie awake before he spoke to me of love? How many nights did he toss and turn…agonizing over the thought?

I can not keep these feelings inside me any longer. I love him, I love him. More than anything in this world. I love his smile that comes so easily to his face. I love his hair that he never seems to be able to tame. I love the way he smells like the sea breeze. I love the way has hand feels when it brushes against mine. I love him in a different way than I loved _him_. No less…just different.

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"Lulu?" his voice was hoarse as he called to me. I unfolded my cramped legs and stood quietly, I had been waiting for this.

"Wakka?" I knew it was him, but I loved the way his name sounded as it rolled off my tongue.

"Yes…come on," he grabbed my hand and we stumbled out of camp, carefully avoiding the sleeping figures.

The desert air was cool and the stars winked at us from their perch over head. Gently I let go of his hand and turned to face him. "Where are we?" I asked.

"What?" He looked at me confused.

I was having a hard time forming the correct question. Chappu's face kept appearing in my mind, it was not angry, merely curious. I brushed it away knowing that it was a figment of my guilt. "Wakka…you told me before that you….that…"

"That I love you," his voice was uncharacteristically a whisper.

"Yes…" I could think of nothing to say for a moment and his face fell. Suddenly I found myself grabbing both his hands.

"Do you think…do you think that he…"

"I think that my brother would be happy if it brings us happiness."

Now was the time…I leaned close to him, "Wakka?"

"Hmm?" he leaned his head against mine.

"I love you…"

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Well…there you go :-) mwhahaha…I know it was short…but I hope you like it! Pleeease review! 


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